BRENTZILLA

Yeah, yeah, I don’t update. Sue me. And when you come back here and wonder why my wise words aren’t updated daily, remember: The Bible isn’t updated daily either. That only happens when, say, an angel with suspect appellation (look it up*) appears before a halfwit and declares polyamory good, caffeine and non-Europeans bad.

You won’t find assembly instructions to your Ikea existence here. No GPS directions through the random, haphazard landscape of your life (or “life,” for that matter).

Not every day, at least.

So thank your monkey god for Yahoo! Answers, which let dumbasses dribble-and-drool in response to other dumbasses’ questions. People are confused, and other people don’t know that they are, which makes for one of the most entertaining websites… of all time.

Check out fucked-up answers to stupid-ass questions, such as:

“How To Develop Round Female Ass?”
(Answer: Eat junk fool.)

“The Legendary Retard King (Does he really exists?)?”
(Answer: Negative IQ?)

“Incest? please help me on my essay.? ”
(Answer: “It’s baaaaaad.”)

“Anal sex..?”
(Answer: “My trick is, when he is about to enter, i push out like I am trying to poop.”)

“She ate feces?”
(Answer: OH GAWD)

Once in a great while, you get awesome out of sad.

Bookmark this post: Then, when you’re scratching your head, wondering why I’m not updating every hour of the day, wondering how you’ll progress through this event you’re calling a “life” without a little something-something from Brentzilla with which to wipe your ass-brain, you can ask the questions that define this age:

“How is babby formed?

 How is babby formed?

How girl get pregnant?”

*Actually, don’t bother: The Internet’s apparently decided “appellation” is a “geographical-based term used to identify where the grapes for a wine were grown,” or some other kind of bullshit. Appellation means “name, or title.” Nothing more, nothing less.