BRENTZILLA

• I’ve been timing BART. If it’s three minutes away, it’s actually four. If two, it’s 11. If one, Zeno’s arrow becomes Zeno’s fucking train. #
• Whoa. Tokyo Police Club got a decent review on NPR. #
• The pretty one brought a box of cookies to the office to celebrate Friday, but I know she’s actually — NOM NOM NOM — celebrating me. #
• @wallet55, no — but I think I’ll look it up! #
• “You’re not a winner yet!” Shut up, Sunset Rubdown. #
• Her: “You know how people say ‘Eat a bag of dicks’? Now will they say ‘eat some gulf coast shrimp.’” Me: “Are you practicing your stand-up?” #
• Her: “Just wondering. It seems really mean. Like, I hope you eat totally toxic shit. Way worse than a bag of dicks.” Me: “You’re killing me” #
• “EAT SOME GULF SHRIMP, YOU SUCKER! IN YOUR FACE!” #
• Just had a Mutual Monet Moment: Two people thinking the other is hotter from afar than up close. In my defense, I probably looked horrified. #

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