BRENTZILLA

• Traveling 611 mph with a tailwind of 96 mph. When I was a golden god, my chariot never moved like this. Stupid flying horses. #
• 35,000 feet up in the thin, milky film clinging to the surface of a disgusting but comforting planet. This is how the bugs in my bed feel. #
• In-flight movie: “Whip It.” Was going to skip it, but by GOD, .38 Special is on the soundtrack. So, you know. #
• List: “Top Five Flight Destinations in Last Year.” 1) Vegas. 2) Portland. 3) Boise. 4) oh god I’m going to cry. #
• Watching The Office minus earbuds. Is it still funny? Skipped the last 47 seasons. Do they age? Do they keep makng those same faces? Help. #
• Delta is now piping in an episode of “King of Queens” because Delta hates me hard. #
• Wondering if Arcade Fire is sad their “Aaaaa AAAA aaaaa A aaa ah” song will forever be annoying now. I mean, notwithstanding the cash money. #
• List: “My Favorite White Wines.” 1) Any vin d’Alsace. 2) WHAT DO YOU MEEEAAAN YOU DON’T HAVE THE ‘02? I WANTED THE ‘02! 3) Thunderbird. #

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