BRENTZILLA

• @h9 b0rked Twitter! As if we weren’t having enough problems, yo! #
• Not many fears, but one of them is that I’ll be that guy in the story showing the reporter the chicken fetus in the egg he cracked. #
• My omelette is soooo good, it cooks itself #
• “And I’ve heard of creatures who eat their babies / I wonder if they stop to think about the taste.” Mood music at my place. Out to get beer #
• Now Twitter is saying my tweet’s too long when it’s not. So much FAIL here, it hurts my head.. #
• If Twitter is really not able to handle slashies, Twitter truly is truly a retread… #
• Day 1,982 without functional Twitter. Was it rad? Was it bliss? Sometimes I can’t remember, and that scares me. #
• GAH! Pal had an extra ticket to see Iron Maiden last night, and I missed the freakin’ call. Still, I get to see them in L.A. this Saturday! #
• Eating the fattest bowl of Shredded Wheat right now. Don’t hate the playa, peeps — hate the play! YEAH! #
• @brittneyg http://twitpic.com/1jw1 <- Kirala2? Mmm… Kirala… suddenly need sushi. #
• Deep breathing exercises: Just about to fix all the “US/U.S.” problems in Fark… #
• “All” being, of course, wrong — no way I can catch it all. Yet one must strive! Even if striving leads to dying (Yes, I am procrastinating) #
• Note to all submitters who love Freedom(R): Periods and commas placed within quotes 99.99% of time. Live free or die! #
• IMing: Doug: MAIDEN!!! Me: I”M SEEING THEM LIVE MOTHER EFFER! Doug: and to think you got your hair cut!! Me: BRUCE’S HAIR IS SHORT I RAWK #
• Ewwwww, @vmarenelli, do not blaspheme further: Eddie will eat you! #
• Looking for a Fark headline o’ the day as I edit, and nothing. Come on, submitters, step up! #
• @vmarinelli http://twitpic.com/1luu <- I hope he’s 5′2″, cuz otherwise I’m officially afraid. :) #
• @wilburly, actually, not the biggest fan ever. And have to say… *prepares to duck*… I dig Maiden’s “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son” best. #
• Prepping brain for BEA, biggest trade show of the U.S. publishing industry. Which is dying. Which is why we drink ourselves stupid at BEA. #
• @TIHSHO, whoa, whoa, WHOA! What’d he do to your favorite superhero? #
• Everyone is SOOO in love with @AinsleyofAttack. Fine, I’ll take her for a ride. #
• Girls walking dogs are too distracted to check me out. I hate dogs. #
• Whenever I ask the barista for a free drink, I get it. Which I just now realized. This power must be used sparingly, and only for good. #
• @emilybrianna is the BWA HA HA #
• Annnd the fat guy just got pissed when the barista told him no, no Diet Pepsi to go with his fatty melty sandwich. Irony is huge today. #
• @chickenlittle, I’d tell people how you BWA HA HA me, but you’re set to private. Isn’t time you complain about boys in public? #
• Free advice for the ladies: If an annoying guy is constantly flirting with you, just sleep with him. He’ll probably stop. #
• Clever plan, @everywherewoman. So, what are you up to tonight? Huh? Nothing? You free? Huh? I got nothin’ planned (etc. into ad nauseum) #
• Sorry, @20-year-old-emo-arty-dude angsting in every tweet: Can’t follow that. #

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