BRENTZILLA

• List: “Things I’ve Got Going for Me”: Health. Quarters for laundry. Parking karma. Johnson & Johnson floss (mint!). No ants in kitchen. #
• Watching Slovakia v. Russia hockey game. Why does every post-Communist country have red, white and blue as their colors? USA! Confusing. #
• All these tall girls say I remind them of Zack. You know, the guy from Real World: Chicago all those years ago. Tallies. Don’t trust them. #
• Context: They play volleyball together. #
• Volleyball teams wander the streets in search of other tallies, and shanghai them into their crews. #
• Seroquel XR. See our ad in Family Circle. Seroquel XR is not approved for dementia. #
• DISASTER: Picked up near replica of favorite jacket as I exited the bar. Near in the sense it’s gray, and is clearly built for a tallie. #
• It wasn’t that you lacked ability, Mr. Russian Skater Boyman. It was that disgusting peach fuzz on your face, and lame gold chain. #
• I don’t mind wearing a bib when eating a rad burrito, but this particular burrito isn’t all that good AND is all over my face. Embarrasing. #

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