BRENTZILLA

• At Trader Joe’s, which, unlike some sites, is getting overhauled yet manages to keep somehow keep working #
• Zombie Clinton ate herself to a undead victory in a state that’s redder than a true person’s blood. “RARA-RAR-RAAR!” she roared at her rally #
• Grammar, where art thou? Why hast you abandoned thine servant? WHY AIN’T YOU LOVIN’ I NO MORE??? #
• Today, I shall only tweet marketing materials I see around me. #
• “Abundantly delicious organic whole wheat bicuits.” #
• Enh, screw that. I just wanted to write “Abundantly delicious organic whole wheat bicuits.” #
• Mentioned Kitchens of Distinction two days ago (a 90s band no one knows). Have had “Under the Sky, Inside the Sea” looping in head since #
• I want to create a sandwich for McDonald’s. How about Deep Fried Northern-Style McSteako Baco-Burger? Or just McPasties. Mmm… McPasties… #
• @lisaga, they also introduced the “McArabia” to the Middle East just around the time of the Iraqi invasion, too. Genius! #
• Fark Submission Reality No. 57: Exponential decrease in ability to communicate with every letter added. Looking at you, Tech and Sports tabs #
• I really, really do want to care about this project… #
• Wow. Can’t even tweet from IM right now… #
• I swear to some unholy god: If your cat is fat, don’t let me know because I’ll let PETA know you’re a cat-fat farmer! #
• @vmarinelli, I kissed my first girl in first grade! Liked it better than kissing my dog. #
• To chicks who like dudes who are dicks: I’m only an incidental dick. I’m not a credentialed dick. Also? No motorcycle either. Sorry! #

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