BRENTZILLA

• It’s obvious that comic book artists who draw The Flash don’t actually run. (Unless I’m wrong. Then I’m just an ass.) #
• Thinking I should lie on my resume. I mean, there can’t just be one inventor of the Post-It Note. Amirite? #
• You know what else is “shovel ready,” Mr. I’m A Public Figure On National Radio? Your mom. BURRRRRRN. And shut your face. #
• Motorola is good at designing gear that highlights doucheness, as exemplified by the douche standing in line behi — oh, uh, you read that? #
• Oakland Airport finally has free wifi! “Free” meaning I’ve been transported back to 2003 and am getting eyes slashed by violently ugly ads. #
• Southwest’s new boarding procedure is still a fail. #
• Fat man just squeezed into center seat and now is radiating body heat all over me. Miserable, and have yet to take off. #
• Now in Las Vegas, awaiting flight to Indy. I wanna gamble, but nah, ain’t feeling the luck. #
• Bored. Time for the next edition of my FREE AIRPORT WIFI REPORT: Vegas’s free wifi kicks Oakland’s ass. A lack of eye rapeage will do this. #
• @lawrencecoburn: WOOT! The rest a’y'all: http://bit.ly/17CADz #
• Yah: http://tinyurl.com/bvfmkp #

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