BRENTZILLA

• I threw the bottle of OJ at the Starbucks barista, which shot past her and into tie backroom. She giggled. #
• Here’s a tip from your Uncle Brent: If you’re sporting a mohawk, you’re 30 years too late. That one was free! Sign up for my newsletter! #
• My company doesn’t recognize Festivus. There will never be an Airing of Grievances. #
• Do not be scared of the Internet, @patjenkins. #
• I am more likely to forgive myself for an error in written language than I am to forgive you. Tippy toes, people! Lackey, get me caffeine! #
• Anyone else think Pitt looks like Michael Jackson at the end of “Benjamin Button”? Even magic computers couldn’t make him look young again. #

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