BRENTZILLA

• New Twitter. Mommy? #
• Headed out to Tahoe for wedding. Roadtrip with new iPod. I’ll try to keep my pants on this time. #
• HUGE traffic on 80 East. May have to take my pants off. #
• Funny. Can tweet while driving, but can’t read you twits while driving. LAME. #
• People get pissed when the U.S. government bails out corporations. But they end up re-electing Republicans anyway. #
• Traffic is destroyed but my pants remain off to express my solidarity with fellow Californian bottomless drivers. #
• Passing Fairfield, CA, where the American dream surrenders to Camaros, Westfield Shopping Towns and the dude who sings, “She’s only 17!” #
• “Vacaville: Next 7 Exits (But Do Yourself a Favor and Wait for the 8th)” #
• This girl has been following since leaving the Inner Bay Area. She won’t return my kissy lips yet, but she will be the mother of my children #
• Ah, the smell of cow crap. Estimating Davis to be… mmm, yes, 3.56 miles away. #
• Ahead, I see Sacramento. Sacto. “The Sac.” Gonna close my eyes now and hope for the best. #
• Poor Bonnie Frasier. Someone wrote “Bonnie Frasier is a slut!” on her Soob’s dirty-ass rear windshield. That’s mean. And there’s no number. #
• Sacramento’s main problem? What’s holding it back from becoming anything other than California’s premier flyover town? Its name. Sacramento. #
• Poor Placerville. Smells like my grandma, the one who took on the scent of her car’s pine air freshener. #
• The Sierra Nevadas had better stop making my ears pop or I’m gonna do some donuts on this freeway, show them what’s what. Stil pantless. #

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