BRENTZILLA

• I looked at my phone today and saw it was 9:11 and I was like, OMG! It’s 9:11 on 9/11! Later tonight I looked and it was 9:11 ALL OVER AGAIN #
• “Romance” began in the medieval ages , and died when Palin blew her son’s best friend for a half pound of salmon jerky and a can of Hamm’s. #
• Woke up with Palin Tweet in mind and just plugged it in — right in the midst of Hurricane Levi Johnston. That sucks. #
• Last Day For My Starbucks Report: No free coffee. WTF? #
• Last Day For My Starbucks Report: Manager says to Grumpiest Old Man Ever, “You got the last sweet roll!” Grumpiest Old Man Ever: “Whatever.” #
• Last Day For My Starbucks Report: Dude cop just made chick cop mad. They so are on the downside of having done it. #
• Last Day For My Starbucks Report: Grumpiest Old Man Ever is chuckling at the obituaries. Also, just popped balloon that strayed too close. #
• Last Day For My Starbucks Report: Lady just gave me her card. Recruiter. Not sure if this is professional or personal. Hmmm… #
• UK newspapers need a consistent style guide. #
• Rush, the second coming of Christ? Or Rush Limbaugh, @katiecake? (Warning: I love Rush, the second coming of Christ.) #
• @joethepeacock, no bourbon? No scotch? No beeeeeer? #
• How’s that iPhone update? I’m waiting to hear from all you “gotta download it now” tweeps. (Glances at @jendavis with condescending smirk.) #
• Retweet @briggsb: “Advance copies of my BBook will be here on Monday! Freaking awesome!” Orders yours now! #
• @twitties 0139086201951021102109340491002305401021054802871021 #
• That CANNOT be my last tweet for the hour, so I’ll just tell you my most secret desire: Monkey. Yeah… I want me a monkey… #
• Retweet @CcSteff: “I am embarrassed for Sarah Palin since she doesn’t have the good sense to be embarrassed for herself.” Master of The Burn #
• How do I get favrd for tweeting about a previous tweet that was better by far? You people KILL me. This is why Palin will win the presidency #
• Me: 6th grade, on toilet. Mom yells that I misspelled “dying” in poem. I hadn’t, but that trauma now has me doubt myself whenever I spell it #
• @TDefren, good chance I’ll be there! #
• I’m liking Google’s Chrome more and more. I want some doodads to make it awesome, but it’s super fast, simple. Firefox 3 is a pain, however. #
• Why does everyone hate the new facebook? It works better, looks better, IMHO. People hate change on the intertubes. Remember the Fark redo? #
• Hate to brag, but I’m the Shakespeare of catalog copy. Wish I were the Stephen King of catalog copy, though… #
• @firefox_answers: I’d sometimes click a URL, get a “Firefox is running but something is borked, restart” thing. No forced quit, either. #
• @firefox_answers: Nope, no reporter, no address — just a dialogue box. #
• @ohheygreat: oopth? #
• I can’t believe how @wwjdfakb suckered me into a fight about okra. She likes to fight. She’s a fighter. #
• Well, we’ve agreed mustard in all forms is good, and we both like sauce, so fight’s over. Nothing to see here. Move along. #

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