BRENTZILLA

• In the age of texting, making a phone call has become an intimate experience, and somewhat intrusive. Do not tread on my live-time minutes! #
• Eating “The Original, 100% Flourless Ezekial 4:9 Sprouted Whole Grain Cereal (Golden Flax).” AKA, Grape Nuts. I am Brent, hear me hippie! #
• DECLARATION: If you replace your awesome pic/icon/whatever with one of those retarded cartoon icons a la Yahoo! Answers? I will not follow. #
• Disappointing when someone tweets the one tweet that kind of blows your mind, and then isn’t all that interesting anyway… #
• Twitter acquires Summize — and now something that once worked really well simply doesn’t. Sorry Twitter, but you’re the suck #
• Yes, but as Editor in Chief, you wrote a great anti-anti-smoking-law piece for UCSD’s student pub, @herdnoise, which you then pulled. Lame! #
• The new Glen Campbell album, “Meet Glen Campbell,” makes me sad. Follows Cash’s example by covering contemporary stuff, but sounds flat. #
• My turn, my turn! If you’re not following @fatguyinathong, @ieatpoop or @don’twastemyeyeballswithyourmasturbatoryrecommendations, then die! #
• (Heh — that looks harsher than intended :P) #
• Creating order form for catalog. This, my friends, is why I wake up in a yet another woman’s bed every morning. #
• Okay, fine: This is the one tweet that I’ve read, ever, that blew my mind: http://tinyurl.com/5dxex6. No more DMs about this, please! #
• @hotheadred, who is your wife? Mind, I follow many wives. Not all of them can be yours. #
• Email sent to all employees at my company: “Hi All! If you left your lemon bar in the women’s restroom, I have it…” #
• Update: The lemon bar found in the women’s restroom was claimed. Meanwhile, if anyone is missing it, I found a Baby Ruth in the men’s room. #
• Metaquestion: Why do I always end up following lesbians? #
• Retweet @kellydeal: “I recommend @youallquitrubbingupagainsteachother and @getbacktomakingmelaugh” #
• No one can quite gross me out like @CcSteff can gross me out. #

Powered by Twitter Tools.