BRENTZILLA

• Worst. Work out. Ever. Would yell @drewcurtis about his latest injury, but wondering if that’s a good idea after the worst. Workout. Ever. #
• Barista gave me a large iced americano this morning, thinking he was doing me a favor — and lo! Thus did innocense set off the end of days! #
• Do not ruin my head’s built-in Sufjan videos, @emilybrianna! #
• @herdnoise and @absintheglow oughta meet — they’re both tools of The Man and have the same sigh when they talk about work. #
• You know the drill, you know I love you — hit me up DM if suddenly I’m not following you. #
• The big red light blinking on and off upon my office phone demands my immediate attention, but I can’t be bothered. #
• The Joker and I have much in common: We’re both utterly insane in our work environments because it’s the only way to deal with the stupidity #
• Mid-year resolution: Tease @joethepeacock mercilessly. #
• “Rat Is Dead (Rage)” by CSS seemed familiar, but wasn’t sure. @joethepeacock said Yeah Yeah Yeahs, @TIHSHO said Life Without Buildings. Nice #
• Man alive, @chickenlittle was just so burned by @joethepeacock, I can smell BBQ over the Web (or maybe that’s just California burning down). #
• Reason No. 32,781,092 why smokers should be segregated from me: “Smoker’s Ass in Public Restrooms.” Seriously ready to vomit, you bastard. #
• @sflovestory, Smoker’s Ass is the gawdawful stench left behind by many (but not all) smokers who use the bathroom after a smoke break. ACK! #
• I follow @bit0mike because I literally understand zero of what he tweets. It’s like the poetry of an alien civilization. Like the Borg. #
• My rubberband ball grows; is becoming an agent of rapid-fire destruction and sweet, sweet change; communicates via telepathy. #

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