BRENTZILLA

(Testing: Stolen from another thingy I did…) 

We’re skipping the usual pomp and parade of language here (currently too cracked out on caffeine and can’t concentrate coherently on any circumlocucious soliloquy) to bring you the Playlist Hit Parade of October 6, 2006, as played on my iPod:

Wolf Like Me (TV on the Radio)
So I’m in the company kitchen, digging on this song — and thus moving like a tornado that’s kicking the ass of some nameless, eternal-cornfield-of-the-mind Midwestern state — when, for reasons beyond me, I’m showered in coffee. Someone said I did it to myself, but this person is known to lie through his ass mouth.

Closets of Henry (Guided by Voices)
I’m singing this song right now, much to the dismay of my compatriots at work — nevertheless, I am allowed to sing loud on Fridays, per the president. They pretend to hate it, but secretly thrill to the racy inflections I add to these sweetest of lyrics.

Debaser (The Pixies)
Never old, evergreen, minty fresh and ROCKIN’ MY ALL-TOO-FINE ASS!

Positive Tension (Bloc Party)
The scene: We’ve got a new copier, and I am with a small group of comrades being given a “tour” of the techno-beast. It apparently lets you email pictures of your ass anonymously to everyone in the building. Nifty. Anyway, I wasn’t paying attention as to how to do so because this song happened to be burning a hole all the way through my neocortex and well into my monkey brain. I want a banana.

Location Is Everything (Piebald)
YOU DON’T KNOW PIEBALD AND THIS IS FINE EVEN IF THEY ROCK ASS — SO MUCH SO, I GOTTA GO ALL-CAPS. AM I LOUD? AM I LOUD? I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU! I GOT MY EARBUDS ON!

Raw (Scanners)
I am now screaming this song obnoxiously (or so some clearly jealous dude says), and the sales lady from Brazil is going all, “Ai yai yai!” in a manner that, despite her exasperation, nevertheless communicates her fondness for me. I am loved by the ladies, me lads!

Bullets (Editors)
You know what? Everyone’s all into “Munich,” the Editors’ song that gets radio play — but the cut that gave Editors their big break is this all-rock-out piece. Sadly, it’s an X-marks-the-spot treasure that has been dug up, cashed out and spent, making the band a one-gloriously-awesome-song wonder at this point.

Weirdo (New Order)
The best song on New Order’s album Brotherhood is not “Bizarre Love Triangle,” but this all-move-no-pause No. 2 track. I move! I move! Is it an earthquake? Is it a nuclear device? No, it’s just me, bobbing along like an extremely handsome, thought-provoking cork in a massive wave of 80s Brit alt-pop! Who knew? Thank you, world!

Is She Really Going Out With Him? (Joe Jackson)
“Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street / From my window I’m staring while my coffee goes cold.” Shit man, the story of my life right now! I mean, why do those girls go out with them guys? These are the questions I pose — with melodic, heart-rending, possibly too-loud flair — to my fascinated co-workers.