BRENTZILLA

Me via Twitter

Brent — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

Yet more retarded manga icons defiling Twitter. Infection? Virus? Whatever it is, it’s infected the entire twitverse. In search of a cure. #
Beastly Barista and Annoying Barista joining forces this morning to doom the the day. “Hi!” the beast cries. “Good to see you!” I fear her. #
Other things annoying me (besides Annoying Barista) right now: “Good mornnnning,” cops flirting in dark corner (GBTW!), impending work day. #
Beastly Barista savages me with her Starbucks gossip. I don’t care! I don’t care! But the beast hears not my silent pleas for mercy. #
i r ritard. #
Hmm… smells nice out today… oh, the stinks are headed for Burning Man. #
Farkers, help a broham out: 1) Spell out whole numbers less than 10. 2) Use numerals for 10 and higher, except at the beginning of headline. #
(Yeah, there’s a ton of exceptions, but I can clean those up — sticking with the below guidelines takes care of 90 percent of the problem.) #
Olympic motto: “Citius, Altius, Fortius” (Faster, Higher, Stronger). So why is synchronized swimming included? #
@alysonwithay, really? Sweet! #
Must concentrate on anything but that which is most important to me right now. So this moment sucks. In other news: Caffeine was a bad idea. #
Grab Bye Bye Blackbird’s four-song EP for FREE at http://tinyurl.com/68zzbp. Mellowy guitar pop, nice stuff! I’ll check the new album soon. #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

I dunno why the cartoon/manga-face icons that seem to be pollutting Twitter bothers me so much, except that they’re completely tarded. #
@farktv, yours is cool — it’s that generic, inexpressive, infantile, constipated icon created by some website that’s making me hate tweeps. #
Still use the first-gen iPhone. I’ve gone from cutting-edge first-adopter embracing the future to grumpy user of retro tech. Classic iPhone! #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

You only hear “human” when something dumb or gross or weird or fucked-up occurs; it’s always preceded with “only.” There are no high-fives. #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

In the age of texting, making a phone call has become an intimate experience, and somewhat intrusive. Do not tread on my live-time minutes! #
Eating “The Original, 100% Flourless Ezekial 4:9 Sprouted Whole Grain Cereal (Golden Flax).” AKA, Grape Nuts. I am Brent, hear me hippie! #
DECLARATION: If you replace your awesome pic/icon/whatever with one of those retarded cartoon icons a la Yahoo! Answers? I will not follow. #
Disappointing when someone tweets the one tweet that kind of blows your mind, and then isn’t all that interesting anyway… #
Twitter acquires Summize — and now something that once worked really well simply doesn’t. Sorry Twitter, but you’re the suck #
Yes, but as Editor in Chief, you wrote a great anti-anti-smoking-law piece for UCSD’s student pub, @herdnoise, which you then pulled. Lame! #
The new Glen Campbell album, “Meet Glen Campbell,” makes me sad. Follows Cash’s example by covering contemporary stuff, but sounds flat. #
My turn, my turn! If you’re not following @fatguyinathong, @ieatpoop or @don’twastemyeyeballswithyourmasturbatoryrecommendations, then die! #
(Heh — that looks harsher than intended :P) #
Creating order form for catalog. This, my friends, is why I wake up in a yet another woman’s bed every morning. #
Okay, fine: This is the one tweet that I’ve read, ever, that blew my mind: http://tinyurl.com/5dxex6. No more DMs about this, please! #
@hotheadred, who is your wife? Mind, I follow many wives. Not all of them can be yours. #
Email sent to all employees at my company: “Hi All! If you left your lemon bar in the women’s restroom, I have it…” #
Update: The lemon bar found in the women’s restroom was claimed. Meanwhile, if anyone is missing it, I found a Baby Ruth in the men’s room. #
Metaquestion: Why do I always end up following lesbians? #
Retweet @kellydeal: “I recommend @youallquitrubbingupagainsteachother and @getbacktomakingmelaugh” #
No one can quite gross me out like @CcSteff can gross me out. #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

@sflovestory: Read Youth in Revolt. Reminded me of Confederacy of Dunces: Rough, initially funny, then disintegrates. Both need good editors #
Power is out at work, so it’s business as usual around here. #
Did @joethepeacock just say, “I’m dandy”? ZOMG. Also, he’s an Internet Superstar: http://tinyurl.com/6khugt #
[REDACTED] hate [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] hate [REDACTED] took a billy club to [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] #
Amen, brother @misc #
Indexing catalog. This, my friends, is why I’m invited to all the parties. #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

My Google Talk status is “I like pie.” Status-message responses from the unwashed masses: “I like Pei,” “I make good pie,” “I like π,” etc. #
Rateitall.com is looking awesome! Nice work there, @lawrencecoburn #
FRANZ KAFKA! Be careful if you get him pissed! FRANZ! FRANZ KAFKA! He’ll smite you with metaphor fists! (Stuck in head, thanks to @jkubicek) #
Living like a bug ain’t easy / my old clothes don’t seem to fit me / I got tiny bug feet / I don’t really know what bugs eat… #
Man alive, aren’t the twitterbabies snarky about the Chinese women gym team today? Erm, “women” gym team, that is. #
I follow @wyattwoo because he’s by far more clever than you. #
Whoa? Bush postponing vacation to monitor Georgian situation? Speechless… #
Heh. Just made a ringtone from “Don’t Go,” @ohheygreat. Showed it off to friend, who then declared me “gay.” So I assigned it to her digits. #
I’m gonna piss off half the peeps who follow me, but: Worst fantasy series ever? The Wheel of Time. Worst writer ever? Robert Jordan. Yes. #
Local peeps: Check out Tara’s Organic Ice Cream at College & Alcatraz. It’s the good shiz, yo. Bonus: The hot ice-cream lady behind counter. #
Love the Bay Area, but the vast majority of us are too soft by far. Sensitive souls for whom words are nukes, always on defcon 2, awaiting 1 #
Thank you @favrd for disabling formatting — didn’t know why it stopped, but certainly glad it did. #
Friend’s record-label blog has a feature called “Anatomy of a Song” — check it out and participate: http://blog.americandust.net/ #
“People who talk end up outlined in chalk. We’re at war.” John McTaint launches his bid for the presidency at http://www.johnmctaint.com! #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

If I ever run into a clydesdale, I’ll probably punch it in the snout. That’s how much I hate Bud. #
Sigh. Even China has high-speed rail. California? Never happen in my lifetime. #
Why doesn’t iTunes like MP3s from India? #
I think running with @CcSteff would be the ultimate in adventure, and would ultimately end in my untimely death. #
Hey farkers: No need to use “w/” or “w” in place of “with” in headlines — just spell the damn word already. #
@CcSteff: I got me the lungs and legs, but the knifework is admittedly a bit rusty. #
Russia is apparently paying attention to a world that’s telling it to stop invading a sovereign nation. The United States? Not so much. #
List of most amazing foods: 5) Chicken and waffles. 4) NY-style pepperoni slice. 3) Cured-meat sandwiches. 2) Indian, generally. 1) Pie. #
Who’s the douche calling gymnastics for NBC? “There’s a new China syndrome — it’s called China gold!” Tried to sound impromptu, failed hard #
Retweet @sluggirl1: “You neglected to mention chocolate-covered bacon. http://tinyurl.com/5u28yo.” ZOMG! Mouth watering up… #
@smartasshat: Ha, yeah, saw that too. What is it about sports in general, and gymnastics in particular, that makes TV people retarded? #
Problem with saying “ad hominem!” when in bitchslap? You make up rules not agreed upon; use said rules to be a dick; whine when bitchslapped #
Shoos them? In your part of the country, you need a T in there somewhere, @wwjdfakb #
Damn: Google Maps caught me in, uhm, napping… that’s it: http://tinyurl.com/5z9cdd #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

We’re disgusted, outraged about Russia’s aggression against Georgia — but really, it isn’t much different from what the U.S. did to Iraq. #
@sflovestory” 1) Pavement. 2) Rush. 3) New Order. 4) The National. 5) Wolf Parade. (Late, I know…) #
I love that @MarsPhoenix has shouted out @CassiniSaturn. Must. Stop. Following. Robots. #
Retweet @chickenlittle: #
Port O’Brien’s //All We Could Do Was Sing// makes me sad, @herdnoise. //The Wind & The Swell// showed so much more promise. #
Generally, the editors of The New Yorker are awesome — but even they can’t stop Adam Gopnik from sounding pretentious while writing poorly. #
Just got Conor Oberst’s single “Danny Callahan” from MPR’s The Current. Oberst continues The Magnetic Fields’ explorations into the boring. #
Yep — like you, my Gmail account is out for the count, too. #
@sluggirl1, heh, yeah, it led me to post a link to a scraper-bike video. #
Oh, actually, never did post a link to scraper bikes. Here: http://tinyurl.com/6np3nm “TRU-UHNK BOOOOOOIZ!” #
Fark snurk of the day: “Gay hopes to come from behind for his big finish to pound the world record. Penis.” #
Wanted: Web comic recommendations. Gimme the funnies, people! #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

Not surprised about Edwards,. His approach to the campaign — testing waters until he found a role for himself — was just as indiscreet. #
Things That Uprigh Likes: Watched “Scraper Bike” videos on YouTube: Kids in Oakland with tricked-out bikes. Love the soundtrack. #
Look ma! I made mah own ringtones for mah iPhuhn. http://tinyurl.com/2zfyre #

Me via Twitter

Brent — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 06:59:59 +0000

@farktv… so… many… jokes… #
@wwjdfakb, what, SEVEN!? HO! #
This is my head: O. This is my head after drinking Belgian ales all night long: )( #
It’s neat that it’s 8-8-8 today. But I’d much rather it be 8-15-8. GIMME MAH MONIES! #
Fark: “Bono takes off his glasses for the first time in 15 years, is immediately mistaken for Robin Williams.” http://tinyurl.com/5m4o3c #
Yeah, CNN News Alerts suddenly flooding my spam folder. HA HA, dumbasses. #
@smartasshat http://twitpic.com/6znp - Perfect caption! #