BRENTZILLA

My pal Doug (you’ll hear more of him later) has been and will be jumping through hoops of fire and acetone for me — and this weekend he’ll be back at the job, making my all-too-dramatic life (more on this later, too) easier by far.

Today, Doug sent me this eCard:

If that ain’t the most loving card a dude could send to another dude, I don’t know what is.

So Doug: If ever you want to commit some felonious act, just let me know, cuz with you “having my back,” so to speak, all restraints imposed by the veneer of civilization suddenly disappear!