BRENTZILLA

After I posted the marketer’s map of Idaho, my pal created an “all anyone needs to know” map of Indiana (and yeah, I’m dropping the “marketer” part).

I’m charmed… yes, charmed is the word… that about a tenth of the state is “normal mostly.” And dig that you can split the state between “soybeans” and “corn.” This information is not only invaluable to marketers, but to tourists eager to sample the staples as well. As for the southern part of the state… well, let’s just say I ain’t going there to duel anyone with a banjo any time soon. Or ever.

However, another Hoosier claims that the state is really just two parts:

• “The Region”
• Redneck Indiana

The Region, where the second Hoosier was raised, corresponds with “kinda chicago.” According to her, The Region is hated by the rest of the state, and The Region despises “redneck Indiana.”

I think she’s exaggerating –I’ve met several residents of said state, just to embarrass myself with witty conversation starters like, “So, are you from The Region, or… ahem… elsewhere?” Usually, I’m met with innocent blinking and different flavors of “What the hell are you on about?”

Maybe the regional rivalry between The Region and the Rest of the State is one sided. Maybe it’s like residents of Los Angeles who blink innocently when asked about the “rivalry” between L.A. and San Francisco: San Franciscans loathe Los Angeles, and Los Angelinos don’t even know to think of San Francisco.

The second Hoosier does agree with one aspect of the first map: “The farther south you go, the farther South you go.” Nice.

(Apologies to TIHSHO for desecrating his map — my other friend wouldn’t draw anything, and I only had Paint on hand…)