Older guy in a crowded BART car picked his nose for a long, long time. Really got in there. No one else saw. You can do this on BART. #
@biorhythmist is flying an’ interneting OH NOES NOES #
The best part of playing foursquare is stealing someone’s mayorship. MUA HA HA HA! #
FACT: I just […]
Dudes… playing foursquare, I went from No. 1 at the beginning of the week to No. 4. Eff that action! I should be numro uno at all times. #
Young man! For every penis, a vagina. #
AH HA HA! “Congrats, you just became The Mayor of Wells Fargo!” Now gimme yer moneys! #
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Homeless man who received half sandwich from Good Samaritan: “Fucking cheddar! Fucking hate cheddar!” #
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RT @tweetmeme: 10 Celebrities Who Should Be Arrested For Breaking Into Their Own Homes… http://bit.ly/92C3i #
… ugh… morning… blech… #
Hey, if you game, follow @rupture — it’s, like, totally sweet. #
If you want someone to know how serious you are, you need to say it’s serious slaw. Because nothing is more serious than slaw. #
To […]
“10 things not even bacon can make better.” Please accept my apologies now! http://bit.ly/czEhz #
@jimmywellington — oh sir, you are in for a treat! :P #
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I am saving the world. I am the new Christ, dying for your culinary sins: “10 Things Not Even Bacon Can Make Better.” http://bit.ly/LquNn #
“Up” is better than “Wall-E.” Yes. #
Headed to Portland. Oh, Wild West! Oh, Beerfest! #
Plane: Sitting next to two women who just met. “I met James on Match.com!” “Oh my god, […]
“Whenever she asks how I want to do it, I usually think inside the box” (via @seanhussey — very nice, sir, very nice). #
Tweets are the new American haiku. (And this is not a celebration of it. There is nothing to celebrate about it.) #
Heya, @jimmywellington — I’ll hit you up later when I’m at […]