BRENTZILLA

Hey check out this article about a gold digger who’s deluded herself into thinking she’s not a gold digger: http://tinyurl.com/qy9ko8 #

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I cannot believe no one starred my Charlie Utter entry. EFF ALL YA #
Small cough led to big pop in fucking left side. The cough-hack is back and is worse. I’d say eff my life but I hate that site. #
Fortunately: Wine! Not beer, unfortunately. I work with what I have. #
And since I’m drinking […]

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Fantasies: Cheney runs for president next time around. But there’s no way that dude’s not of this Earth before handing victory to the Dems. #
I love Charlie Utter. He has all the kick-ass and none of the cool. #
Extensive and real studies show that smiling was invented in 1919. Before that, there was none. […]

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Unreadable: “Twilight,” The San Francisco Examiner, The Wheel of Time series, The San Francisco Chronicle, “Reading the OED.” END FACT. #
If I could bottle all the phlegm I’ve coughed up and sell it for $10/pint, I’d be retired, beshorted and beloved by bikini girls in Hawaii. #
@emilybrianna, wait, wha? #
“We love the flavor of Mexico.” […]

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Nomination for creepiest song ever? “Eye I’m the Sky,” by The Alan Parsons Project, is hereby proffered. #
I hate Quiznos, and this “viral video” did not change anything: http://bit.ly/FvtCw #
Nice, Congress. You’re never popular, and now you’re butting heads with Obama over closing Guantanamo. Real smart, there. #
Ostrich jerky is pretty much beef jerky with […]

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Suspicious briefcase in building! Excitement mounts! Evacuation proceeds! WHO IS THE TARORIST! #
Bomb squad is now unrolling a robot from a truck. If by “unrolling” I actually mean “figuring out how this thing works.” #
Ha ha! Bomb squad just dropped the robot’s remote! Keystone cops here. #
Bomb squad is the opposite of “quick response.” Bored […]

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FACT: I do not trust fruits or vegetables grown alongside Interstate 5. END FACT. #
Dudes. When does the next Star Trek come out? #

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