She: “Puppy names! Halp!” Me: “ALEXANDER THE GREAT! OMEGA THE LAST MAN! BADLY INJURED MAN NOT DONE PARTYING YET!” She: “Girl puppy.” Lame! #
@joethepeacock got my favorite manga tattooed on his shoulder: http://bit.ly/4lN4G. FINALLY. #
I think Canadian cheddar is my favorite cheddar. I think you care. Thus. #
Do weepy, bloody wounds ever just open up […]
“Porn diet for the environment.” Me and @herdnoise, talking business ideas over beer. That’s all his. He’s a poet. #
Dudes, here is my pick-up tip: “Your salsa… do you like it spicy [smile hard!] or mild [big frowny face]? Let’s fuck.” #
STAT: If your band’s name starts with a P, I’m likely to dig you. […]
Peeps, hear me: I, Brent Awesome, shall be using “me” in place of “my.” For at least a day. Today. Tomorrow, that is. #
Men have a five-minute window, post sex, to think clearly, with reason, logical-like. That’s about it. That’s all I have tonight. Me? Two. #
@adamisacson, water, then flavor, then brick. Great combo. Try […]
Shut the fuck up, @newtgingrich. You’ve had a lot of practice at being actually and publicly racist. #
FACT: In normal U.S. cities, you’ll reach for a container in a cafe and have a 73% chance of picking Half & Half. In SF, it’s 56%. END FACT. #
MORE STATS: 84% of my people watching is actually […]
With the Capital One Card Lab, you get to customize how Capital One will rape you! Yay. #
I often wonder, “Is THAT worth the time to tweet?” Then a badass fat man farts on BART with great virtuousity and I can’t wait to tell you. #
SF Chronicle steals a page from SF Examiner, stop! Is […]
Hi, I’m Christian Bale and I can’t act! I’m the next Tom Cruise! Yay. #
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