BRENTZILLA

If you want to defeat me to death, Fatburger is not the way to do it. I will win. More fries! #

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Wish I could update y’all about my stuff, but I’m in Vegas and you know the rules… #
Damn you @joethepeacock. Fine: Gonna gamble, shoot guns, drink. Yeah, and watch me some strippers. #
Supposed to be shooting guns right now, but instead I’m waiting at a taxi stand, becoming man jerky #

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I’m 36. It’s probably time to see a psych-surgeon — I could stand to cut away some of this mindcrap. #
It’s all about positioning. #

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If I were taken at six months from mom’s womb and trained for five years to be an Olympic gymnast, I’d be upset if I didn’t win a medal too. #
Obama on narrowing lead: “Yeah, they run good campaigns, they just can’t run a government.” Pretty much the last eight years summed up. #
“Worlds Away,” […]

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Yet more retarded manga icons defiling Twitter. Infection? Virus? Whatever it is, it’s infected the entire twitverse. In search of a cure. #
Beastly Barista and Annoying Barista joining forces this morning to doom the the day. “Hi!” the beast cries. “Good to see you!” I fear her. #
Other things annoying me (besides Annoying Barista) right […]

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I dunno why the cartoon/manga-face icons that seem to be pollutting Twitter bothers me so much, except that they’re completely tarded. #
@farktv, yours is cool — it’s that generic, inexpressive, infantile, constipated icon created by some website that’s making me hate tweeps. #
Still use the first-gen iPhone. I’ve gone from cutting-edge first-adopter embracing the future […]

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You only hear “human” when something dumb or gross or weird or fucked-up occurs; it’s always preceded with “only.” There are no high-fives. #

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