Posted by Brent under
Tweeting
- At my friend’s place, watching cable TV: Flomax can reduce the presence of semen. Missing sooo much being cable-free. #
- I’m also eating her mixed nuts. I oughta buy her more, but I won’t. #
- Sorry, sorry, @jenniferkutz — I was actually looking for my shoes. Have you seen them? #
- Anyone else having problems with Firefox (Mac)? Spinning wheels and gory crashes are constant now. Browser better shape up or it’s fired. #
- It’s weird to hear “Heartbeats” (Jose Gonzalez version) at Starbucks. #
- Wow, that didn’t take long. It’s official: Firefox for Mac is b0rk3d. #
- I think they removed the knives when they hired you, @CcSteff. I sent ‘em a note. #
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Posted by Brent under
Tweeting
- They’re calling references. #
- Man, Malcolm Gladwell… I mean, I like his books. Then I try to reread them and I just want to gouge my eyes out. He talks like that, too. #
- “Everything is what it is, and not another thing.” — Bishop Joseph Butler. (I hope I got that right.) #
- Remove “Bloc Party. Intimacy” from the album cover, and you have one of the most beautiful photos ever taken. Ever. Seriously. #
- God, what the fuck anyway am I doing anyway. H8 an H9. #
- Also: Hating Mighty Mouse with its much too-weak button thingy. Design flaw. Design flaw. Design flaw, bad. Is this covered in Applecare? #
- The saddest part of the initial announcement of iPhone was AT&T’s dude acting like he wasn’t going to rape me. He rapes me. All the time. #
- If you like classical drinks and bar culture, check out my pal’s new blog: http://smallhandbartender.blogspot.com. She’s totally hardcore. #
- I have a friend who hates saying “gift,” @Lena_. I kinda hate saying “corn” myself. #
- I miss my Starbucks. This Starbucks is populated by smelly students. SNNNNIFFFF. Ew. #
- Why is it that only scag dudes ask to share my table? I hate this Starbucks. #
- @biorhythmist: “TIP: ‘Whatever’ is the Complete Asshole’s most oft-used word.” Great… #
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Posted by Brent under
Tweeting
- The problem with Californication is that it’s not true, not in the least. The writer does not get the woman back. Nope. #
- If you don’t know the difference between espresso and coffee when you order your precious mocha, you’re wasting everybody’s time. Stop it. #
- As I peel an orange and enjoy its succulent flesh, I do find myself thinking there must be a God. Nah, not really. But I like oranges. #
- It’s one of those days when a lot of dudes and no ladies are checking me out. Even at Trader Joe’s. #
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Tweeting
- You’re just looking for an excuse to post to #badmama, @wcopley. #
- Is it okay that I’m tellin people I’m writing a book and I’ve written four words? #
- Purchased microwave, didn’t set the clock for six months. Then I did. Month later: Blackout. Haven’t reset it, but I keep checking for time. #
- Ah Christ, missed my 3000th post. Worse, didn’t notice until nearly 150 posts later. #
- Trying to favorite @kimbees54 but Twitter says no. Maybe Twitter knows something I don’t… #
- And damn Twitter for making it okay to use “favorite” as a verb. #
- my Twitterank is higher than 87.04% of twitterers! http://twitterank.com/view/upright #
- You know, I dig Californication. The show. A lot. But the secondary couple — the bald guy and his munchkin wife — irritate me to no end. #
- I’m wearing no belt. Does my ass look fat? #
- I should have worn a belt. #
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Tweeting
- I knew what I was ordering when I ordered the avocado toast. But I was still surprised to see it. #
- Never want to hurt your feelings, especially when I heart you. But I’m an ass, the sort that can’t see how dumb he is cuz he’s sooooo smart. #
- My landlord keeps dummy cars in spots on the street to keep enemies from parking in them. Sure, fine. Love the Yugo. #
- Also: I can’t believe that the people I grew up with have kids. Except for Ken. No surprise there. #
- Whenever I exit the car, I have to track down my wallet, iPhone, iPod. Hide the asshole earpiece. Remember my keys. Life’s sooo complicated. #
- If ever I do publish this book thing, I will end civilization as we know it. (Not really. Don’t worry.) #
- I’ve never taken my laptop into a bar. I can drink and write and shit my pants. But that’s what’s neat about growing up, trying new things. #
- (It would suck if a meteor creamed me right now and the previous was my last tweet ever, so I’m going to post this now.) #
- BTW: Taking notes for your book on your iPhone is an asshole thing to do. #
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Tweeting
- @ohheygreat: Yes, you do. #
- At the Berkeley Farmer’s Market. Recommend vegetarian taquitos from Flacos’ stand. #
- If you want to go unnoticed in Berkeley, drive a Prius, use a MacBook, wear an Obama shirt. #
- Founder/CEO of former company just parked his Prius in the yellow. Don’t wish him ill, but I wanna see a ticket! [Cackles with anticipation] #
- Where’s the effin meter maid? Goddamn it. #
- Scene: Starbucks. Characters: Me and CEO of company that laid me off. Plot: CEO’s Prius in the yellow. Conflict: METER MAID, WHERE ART THOU? #
- Dang, UPOC is godawful uglaaaay, @lilmar. #
- Listening to Private Dancer’s “Ain’t Leavin’ No More.” Reminds me of something. Anyway, good stuff. Get it at MPR’s Current Song of the Day. #
- Okay, but come on — it’s been, like, 40 minutes and still no ticket. This is not a holiday. This is not justice! #
- Meter maid report: There is no meter maid. Stay tuned for updates. #
- Meter maid report: Got excited when I thought meter maid was pulling up! But it’s just a university golf-cart dealio. Whatever. #
- Meter maid report: He drove away. Whatev. #
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Posted by Brent under
Tweeting
- I’m at The Attic. I’ve never been to The Attic. I like The Attic. They have beer at The Attic. #
- As a kid, I didn’t think I’d love beer. But then again, I hated soy sauce after my uncle made me eat a spoonful. Now I’m a soy sauce HHHOOO! #
- Hate the NYT styleguide: “Mrs. Clinton and her husband, former President Bill Clinton….” I don’t care what the rules say: Skip the obvious #
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